Kim Jong Un accidentally gives his soldiers diarrhea

'Kim Jong Un didn’t crap out on his pledge to feed his border guards a healthier diet — but his servicemen sure did.

“Defective” food — including Japanese sandfish with a “weird” smell — delivered by the North Korean dictator caused the men to suffer terrible bouts of diarrhea, UPI reported.

Iron powder and threads from a nearby military training camp had been accidentally mixed in with the new grub, a source told the news outlet.

“Under the direction of Kim Jong Un, North Korea’s People’s Armed Forces increased the supply of materials to improve the diet of border guard soldiers. However, diarrhea has spread among soldiers who consumed the new food supply and is causing an uproar,” the source added.

The wacky leader made the effort to upgrade their food choices after learning from his officers that many of the country’s crops were wiped out during a massive flood in the northernmost province of Hamgyong in September.

During their tour of the hard-hit region, the officers noticed that border guards were not properly fed, so Kim quickly ordered the “improved” dietary options “so that they would not envy a Chinese person,” the source said.